August 2011
2 posts
6 tags
iheart-tbagging asked: Oi kid, what is your opinion on euthanasia? Tell me what you think or I will punch a hipster
7 tags
Anonymous asked: How or where do you find (presumably atheist) women to date?
July 2011
1 post
10 tags
Discovering The 3rd Dimension
FIrstly, sorry it has been so long since my last blog post. I had some stuff…
As you can probably guess from the title, I have decided to talk about 3d.
I am personally not a fan of 3d films. Not because they are mainstream and not because I want to be different. The glasses irritate my face and make it hard for me to concentrate on the film. Maybe when they get rid of the glasses, up the...
June 2011
3 posts
9 tags
Internet Browsers
What internet browser are you using? Do you know about all the other browsers available and their individual merits? But, most importantly, did you know that Google is dropping functionality for some older browsers?
Google spends loads of money each year making sure that all of their services like calendars and mail can be used by anyone in any browser. However, older browsers do not have...
13 tags
A More Mac Muddled Mind
The other day I thought that I was confused over getting a mac. I have since heard about an almost unbelievable story about the lengths one Chinese teenager went to just to own an IPad 2. Click below to read more.
A apple infatuated Chinese teenager arranged the sale of his kidney over the internet to pay for an IPad 2. The IPad 2 went on sale last month in china and this insane (possibly...
9 tags
The Mac Muddled Mind
I need a new computer, more specifically a laptop. I need something that allows me to do work on the move. I have a desktop that functions fine but doesn’t quite hit the high specifications required to run nice looking games on “ultra”. What should I do? Click below to read more.
I have about £1000 to spend on a computer if I find a bit of extra work in the summer. This is the exact amount i would...
May 2011
3 posts
14 tags
Tawdry Technology
Today I was thinking about technology, computers in particular. Everybody can use them but a much smaller percentage knows how they work. Most people can open Word and write an essay or go online and send an email. But how many people could install Word or create a wireless home network connected to the internet? Are you a computer wizz? Click below to find out.
I put together a small list (in no...
8 tags
Alternative Voting
I appreciate that a lot of my readers are from outside of the UK, this paragraph is for you. On Thursday the 5th of May 2011 the UK is voting on a referendum to change the way we vote. At the moment we use “First Past the Post” we have the option to switch to “Alternative Voting” the first step to “Proportional Representation”. Read on, tomorrow could be a...
7 tags
Children
I recently had a dream where I had a baby. I myself didn’t give birth to the child myself, that was my partner whom I do not remember. I do remember not minding and actually being quite happy about the whole thing.
I have noticed that recently, when I was seeing my younger brother and sister (7 and 9 respectively) that I coped much better and that I actually enjoyed taking care of them....
April 2011
12 posts
4 tags
Happiness and Haters
Haters are essentially a good thing. If nobody hates your blog then it simply means that you have not broken out of your niche. When you become main stream and lots of different people start to view your blog you will enevetably get those who don’t like what they read. Rejoyce! You have broken into the vastness of the web.
Haters get no say here. Not here.
Everyone else, please keep...
8 tags
Royal Rigmarole
So yeah, I’m jumping on the wagon. Not the one going to London to watch the wedding but the one traveling quickly in the opposite direction. I, like a huge proportion of the population, am disgusted at the amount of media time and attention this mundane task has received. People get married all the time, the only difference here is that one of the people taking part has been ridiculously...
7 tags
Dreamscape
Last night I had the biggest and most detailed dream to date, or I just remembered more of it that normal.
I have just been away for a week in the Lake District climbing mountains and camping by tarns. I didn’t record any of the dreams I had while I was away and I also didn’t sleep very well. I think that this caused a build-up of lost REM sleep that caused me to dream more than...
7 tags
A Deipnosophist's Dreams
Do you dream? How often do you dream?
Everybody dreams, every time they go to sleep. You will dream maybe 2 or 3 times in a normal night. If you answered less than this, it’s because you can’t remember them not because you don’t have them. If you would like to rememebr your dreams then the best idea is to keep a dream journal. This is what I am doing as of last night.
I...
6 tags
Anonymous asked: "The definition of Communism somewhat differs depending on where you look. It does not require people to become mindless drones, devoid of personality and individuality."
It should be pointed out that when people say Communism, they tend to mean Marxism. Marxism, however, does require people to give up all economic freedom for the sake of collectivism, and in essence does...
It should be pointed out that when people say Communism, they tend to mean Marxism. Marxism, however, does require people to give up all economic freedom for the sake of collectivism, and in essence does...
13 tags
Anonymous asked: 1) Education doesn't have to be paid for at the point-of-service (to borrow the term usually applied to healthcare), and can therefore be funded privately via loans which can be paid pack after education is complete. University education in the UK is currently partially funded in this way for most students, and although the state functions as the loan provider, this is by no means...
8 tags
Anonymous asked: "Without taxes, the world would stop." - Not necessarily.
4 tags
Note to haters:
If you do not like my blog, do not read it. I am willing to answer any questions not full of hate or written in complete capitals. I will read every message and I will mentally rip you shreds instead.
This is my blog, you will not ruin this, you have no effect on the world.
Go stew in your own insignificance Haters because the world can do without you.
7 tags
blogcerberus asked: WHERE IS YOUR FACE? WHOS THE ANONYMUS ONE NOW? WHAT IS USEFUL ABOUT TELLING ME I NEED TO BE MORE LIKE YOU? YOU USE BIG WORDS SO YOU SEEM BIG I SAY WHAT I MEAN. I DONT NEED YOU TO TELL ME TO REACH OUT TO DEAF PEOPLE I PREY FOR THE HOMELESS AND I PAY TAXES SO THEY CAN BUY POT AND SIT ON THEIR ASSES
9 tags
The Deafening Silence
Last Friday I went to a deaf pub. It was a normal evening and I really enjoyed myself.
The pub was packed, everywhere you looked you could see people and movement. But, at the same time, you could hear the gentle music being played in the background. I am not used to seeing so many people make so little noise. It was weird to say the least.
I need to point out here that I do know sign language....
6 tags
Euphemistic Prepositions
By this is mean the slang we user to define relationships and activities within relationships. They are generally used by or when concerning a younger person.
For example, “going out”. This can be replaced completely in every sentence by the word dating, but we don’t. Is it out natural British reserve coupled with the awkwardness of teenage love that denies us the use of this...
4 tags
Anonymous asked: WHY DID YOU SPELL QUIZZICAL WRONG? ARE YOU RETARDED?
March 2011
3 posts
9 tags
The Unassuming Ones
I was sitting infront of my computer putting a fresh edge on my axe, as you do, I started thinking about social divides.
I’m not talking wealth or anything just the nature of groups in schools and colleges. They are like the small variations in species observed by Charles Darwin. Each group has it’s own set of rules, jokes and a rough hierarchy. Most importantly each group is pretty...
7 tags
Otherworldly Weirdos
Aliens. Do you think they exist?
I am counting aliens as extraterrestrial life forms. They don’t have to be green and bent on taking other planets. Its more likely to be some sort of space tree.
If you answered “No” then you are wrong. I’m not some sort of crazy who claims to have been abducted and had my anus probed. For starters, why would they want to probe that? If...
7 tags
Essential Ingredients
I was in the shower the other day, this is not the rarity people would have you believe however. I was reading the back of my shower gel while gently forming a lather on my chest with my other hand. There was something slightly wrong with the writing on the bottle, It hung in my mind as I rinsed and repeated. As I was gently dabbing the water from my flawless body it struck me. Essential oils. The...
February 2011
5 posts
2 tags
Anonymous asked: Why don't you re-blog stuff you like?
Fuck it. Why am I the only one to ever make an effort?!
2 tags
4 tags
Memento Mori
Remember, we all die. No man is a god. No matter what he claims.
What makes a human? What does it mean to be sentient? What is self?
Is it the ability to love? Laugh? Cry? Or is it a sense of morality?
When you ask somebody “What makes us human?” they might well say our DNA. In a sense they are correct, our DNA defines us as the species ‘Human’. But our DNA is not the...
7 tags
The Valentine Verecund
So full of commercialism we are that we invent holidays that make people feel bad on a regular basis. That’s right deary, it’s another clichéd valentines rant, published under the impression my opinion means anything at all to you.
I have nothing against love and I think it is something that deserves celebrating. However, love is a personal thing and should be celebrated in a...
January 2011
2 posts
4 tags
Rambunctious Re-Ignition
Here I am, back again.
As it has been a while since I last posted you will have to excuse my over-exuberant lexical indulgence. It has been a great length of time since this fine sesquipedalian immersed himself in the vast and tranquil pool of big words.
A little story, just indulge me…
I started awake, it was about 5:30 in the afternoon and Mary still wasn’t home. This...
1 tag
The Christmas Callipygian
Just in case you were wondering who the “The Christmas Callipygian” was, it’s me. Damn straight.
It is now 32 days until Christmas, of this I am painfully aware due to the fact Ebay tells me every time I view their page. I think they started their countdown at 50, which although ridiculous, is better than 100 or 365.
I have finally decided that I should sort out presents and...
November 2010
2 posts
4 tags
Apologies and Eulogies
I was going to write a blinder. Sitting here at my computer, 1am. It’s normally the mix for a funny blog post. But i can’t muster it. How can I make you smile when I can’t myself. It would seem hypocritical and disrespectful. Instead I will write this. If you know what it means then sit for a moment in silent refection and happy memories. Many of you wont, but would you anyway?
...
5 tags
My Shopping list...
This is my shopping list as it stands. I might seem a little bit weird. But i promise you, it will be the biggest laugh I will ever get.
Pink sleeveless top
Shiny black mini-skirt
Pink underwear
Black stockings
1-2” black heels
Big pink earrings
Brown shoulder-length wig
Black bra
Black wristband
Pink wristband
To be honest, its probably best if you don’t know....
October 2010
7 posts
4 tags
Ideas
Any ideas what my next post should be about? I am lacking in ideas. You give me an idea (within reason) and I will make a post/rant about said subject.
M
5 tags
Chronic Chronophobia
I can’t say that I have seen much to laugh at these days. Can’t even say I have laughed properly in a while. But fuck me, it’s you that’s important. So. Lets do this.
Time. I’m not going to get all nerdy physics on you about how its all subjective or something. That would make you switch off, unless your some sort or egg-headed mentalisimo and like to to suduko while...
3 tags
Ink
Struggling to float, to swim, to survive.
A sea of worries, words and woes.
It’s all too much
I want to let go
Give in to the pull, the suck, the beast.
The infamous beast of inky institution.
The black viscous waves sap my strength.
The inky beast tugs at my arm, my thoughts, my mind.
I try to hang on,
But what cost?
My sleep? A friend? My sanity?
NO.
My happiness.
2 tags
Suits
Don't forget everyone. It's national suit up day. So that means wearing a suit to work or college. Go drinking in a suit or wear one to school if your feeling brave.
This is going to be LEGEN... wait for it... DARY!!
over and out
3 tags
Apocalypse
Skies of burning dreams,
A holocaust of happiness,
A deluge of fire,
Melting the desperate hopes
Of this selfish world.
The life I once knew
Dissolves with my innocence
But I shed not a tear
For my emotions died years ago
5 tags
Foudroyant Females
Today I am going to talk about my inability to talk to the lady folk. By this I don’t mean every female, not at all, I can say words to some women easily enough. Its the attractive and unknown girls that cause me and many others to unravel. I don’t mean objectively attractive either.
I know that its dumb and that on the scale there are worse people than me in the world...
September 2010
1 post
3 tags
Aimless Waste / Progress into... the past?!
Firstly, apologies that the title for this edition is not en-keeping with the theme of alliteration and pointlessly complex words. To make up for that there are two titles. How wasteful of me…
I struck me the other day how much we waste. I’m not going to have a go like most people who talk about waste. I’m not going to talk about food like most other people also do. It’s...
August 2010
1 post
6 tags
Acronychal Austria
The preperation for my perambulation my “preambulation” i did a weeks camping in Italy. You would be forgiven if you thought that it does not sound particularly taxing, you would be forgiven but WRONG. Its was in essence altitude training. We did rock climbing and walking at over 3000m and i dont think we were ever below 1500m. Things are different up there, there is much less oxygen...
July 2010
2 posts
6 tags
Rebarbative Religion
I am an atheist. Nothing anybody says can change this, for i understand religion and it’s many trappings of spirit and belief.
Science is and always has been the only way forwards. Take the Aztecs for example, they believed that there was a god to make the sun rise and set. They believed this because they had no other explanation. Some people need an explanation for things, weak people who...
3 tags
Driving Range Debacle
Before i launch into things i would like to say that i really did enjoy my first golf experience, even if i was shit.
Getting to these places is never simple especially when all you know is the name of a fairly long road and that its a golf place. As it happens people like to put golf clubs/pens/cages whatever their called. After finding my way there and going to the shop to get stuff i was...
June 2010
4 posts
3 tags
Heat
If the first thing you thought of when you read the title was a magazine, this is not for you. I don’t just mean this blog, i mean this planet, you’re clearly wasting land space, so why not make your last act a selfless one? Wack on a pair o lead boots and go for a swim in the sea, go on, stop cluttering up the place.
I’m not the only one who doesn’t like the weather being...
3 tags
The Post-Coastal Paradigm
The coast is always a letdown, especially the beaches. I may not find them so tiresome and deflating if they were nicely sandy and didn’t smell like mysterious rotting things.
Here is a quick transcript of my brief beach affair. I arrived, not at the beach (much to my disappointment) but at the scout hut to find lots of people i didn’t know or like and two vehicles of vexation. After...
3 tags
The Copacetic Cleaner
I am now, as it would seem, a professional cleaner. This as many would think, does not mean that i am the perfect cleaner or that i enjoy it. This merely means that i clean for a job (for which i recived traing) and if you thought it meant anything other than that it’s probably the self same job you will end up in for the rest of your miserable unintelligent life.
My first day was on...
4 tags
Weekend in the Country
Whats better than a cracking weekend camping in the country? A week, perhaps. Maybe even a week in Italy then some more in Austria… but i get ahead of myself.
My weekend started with me passing up an invite to a party and traveling to Stedham to help put up tents. At the time this seemed to smack of complacency but in retrospect was a wise and brilliant choice. As i arrive at this campsite...