The Copacetic Cleaner
I am now, as it would seem, a professional cleaner. This as many would think, does not mean that i am the perfect cleaner or that i enjoy it. This merely means that i clean for a job (for which i recived traing) and if you thought it meant anything other than that it’s probably the self same job you will end up in for the rest of your miserable unintelligent life.
My first day was on monday; it started, like most jobs with an induction. The induction covered the sorts of thing that you ought to know for cleaning a college. Funnily enough these are also skills that you should already have, unless, of course, your not allowed out in public without your carer. Some of the things i was told was that “Mr Muscle window” was for use on…. wait for it…. the windows! I was also told not to mop carpet and how to vacuum. After the enthralling induction i left, with my new found knowlege, to shadow someone while they worked.
Today i actually did some work, wiping tables, cleaning boards and a titsy bit of vacuuming. You know, the sorts of things you just know how to do unless of course your a sholder-muncher or Lord Edward Toffotoffinson and have six billion slaves to clean for you. So there it is, my depressing job, for which i am savagely over qualified because i already know how to change a hoover bag…
Now there is nothing left to do but wack on the ole Ipod and wipe a few tables, maybe even empty a bin or two…
