Heat
If the first thing you thought of when you read the title was a magazine, this is not for you. I don’t just mean this blog, i mean this planet, you’re clearly wasting land space, so why not make your last act a selfless one? Wack on a pair o lead boots and go for a swim in the sea, go on, stop cluttering up the place.
I’m not the only one who doesn’t like the weather being this hot, I’m probably not the only person to write about it in a blog, but because of my massive ego I KNOW you will be reading mine becasue YOU KNOW, I’m the most interesting. Fact.
You can tell that us English are not designed for the heat, we have twice the amount of biology stuff to keep us warm as to keep us cool. To keep warm we have hair, fat, shivering and a big pile of mamoth-skin rugs to sleep under. All we have to keep cool is sweating and i think we can all see it for what it really is, natures way of killing us by de-hydration.
I would like to forward a movement to ban Heat (if you thought of the magazine here i will forgive you). We are far better equiped to deal with the cold. The first chemical reaction man discovered was FIRE for keeping WARM not the fucking ‘Air-con Unit’. All the really easy experiments we can do at home keep us warm, what haven’t we put this sort of effort into finding ways to keep cool?
There are many devices on the market for keeping cool, for example, the desk fan. All this contraption does is blow hot air into your face, that and create heat from it motor. Fans are bad. Air-con units are nice, as are fridges; but all they really do is move the heat. Standing behind a fridge will make you cook (half heat, half radiation) and the same for an air-con unit. All we really get is hot air fights, I will push all the hot air in your direction with my air-con then you can blow it back with your fan, then we are both hot, and we heated the room even more with the motors from our contraptions.
This is why I hate the heat. It makes you sweat, which doesnt cool you down, simply make you smell un-attractive, and look funny with wet patches on your clothes. We all have petty fan wars and heat the whole place up and its SO FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE!!!
