Diary of a Deipnosophist

Euphemistic Prepositions

By this is mean the slang we user to define relationships and activities within relationships. They are generally used by or when concerning a younger person.

For example, “going out”. This can be replaced completely in every sentence by the word dating, but we don’t. Is it out natural British reserve coupled with the awkwardness of teenage love that denies us the use of this common word. Our Britishness stops us from saying were dating because we don’t want other people to realise that they aren’t and should therefore somehow feel bad. As a teenager we are reluctant to relinquish our childhood by dating, a very adult activity in the sense that it is looking for someone to marry. With relinquishing our childhood comes adulthood and responsibility and the general end of fun.

There are many more examples of Euphemistic Prepositions. For example, “Making out”, “Getting off”, “Doing it” “Get in!” etc.

Each of these commonly used phrases is used predominantly by younger people reluctant to say in blatant terms, I have found someone’s company I enjoy. We are in a relationship, we kiss passionately and have intercourse. I think some time in the future I might like to marry this person.

These phrases are used by people, however subconsciously, that are immature and un-willing to grow up.

The other thing that annoys me is people who say, one day into a relationship, “I love you”. You obviously don’t you massive idiot. You may well do, sometime in the future, but you can’t, not already. You might have a strong sense that they are awesome and that you very much enjoy their company. Love is a very strong word that encompasses a deep desire to be with someone at any time no matter what mood either of you are in and regardless of what is happening in either of your lives.

Younger people tend to drop “I love you” into a relationship far to early. It ruins everything or it doesn’t and then become a completely meaningless phrase. People do it for a need to feel more adult than they are, mature, older people love therefore if I love then I am mature and grown-up. No. This is a concious lie to yourself, you must know that you don’t know them nearly enough to say you love them. You may indeed love spending time with them, but that is different.

So there it is, people who are too scared to grow up use euphemistically vague phrases to describe intimate acts and people who want to seem more grown up than they are tell people that they love them when they clearly can’t.

The Valentine Verecund

So full of commercialism we are that we invent holidays that make people feel bad on a regular basis. That’s right deary, it’s another clichéd valentines rant, published under the impression my opinion means anything at all to you.

I have nothing against love and I think it is something that deserves celebrating. However, love is a personal thing and should be celebrated in a personal way. It makes me wonder, whoever turned this day commercial, did they mean to make it horribly alienating? 

All valentines day serves to do is open wounds and deflate confidence. It puts strain on existing relationships by forcing you to make a bigger effort. What use could that be, except amplifying how much you are not trying the rest of the time. 

These couples always existed, but with the heightened romantic vibe they are far more noticeable. suddenly you realise, I’m alone, I’m in the minority.

We are born alone, we die alone. Clearly for some, there is nobody in-between.